3 simple steps to get your child to listen to you

Vincent van Gogh [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Bringing up a child is undoubtedly one of the most amazing experiences. In today’s fast paced life where time is a scarce resource do we really get to spend quality and meaningful time with our kids? Or are we just battling to get through the day and get our children to complete their tasks .

In such a scenario , getting a task done at once from a child seems like a distant dream.This is particularly true in stressful situations for example the early mornings , when the kids need to get ready for school.

I was going through the same phase when i decided to look back and observe.Just observing myself for a while I realized that my child did not have any behavioral issues. It was I who was not giving out effective instructions. The most important thing which I realized was that telling a child what to do is much more effective than telling what not to do.

I would like to explain it with an example. A child is jumping on the bed and you want him to get of it.

Approach 1: Alex stop jumping on the bed.

What the child hears : \Jumping on the bed\. Oh may be she says jump on the bed. The key phrase focuses on jumping on the bed.

Approach 2: Alex get down from the bed.

What the child hears: the instruction has the key phrase ‘Get down from the bed’, so she wants me to get down from the bed. The key phrase focuses on getting down from the bed.

Now coming back to getting the daily boring tasks accomplished , I have compiled three basic steps:

STEP 1: Give the instructions saying what to do. The instructions given should be short and in clear language.For eg: Alex please brush your teeth.

STEP 2: Let the child have options.For eg. Alex do you want to brush your teeth yourself or should mommy do it for you.

STEP 3: Take decision. If the child does not choose any of the options, wait for ten seconds and make the choice for him.

For e.g.: Alex let me make you brush the teeth today.

In giving options to the child make sure you to give those options which you are comfortable with. So that you can implement them whichever the child chooses.

Self-discipline is a form of freedom. Freedom from laziness and lethargy, freedom from expectations and demands of others, freedom from weakness and fear. —Harvey Dorfman